Overcoming awkwardness dating
After being hurt in a breakup, people are both eager and wary about getting back in the game.
Those still recovering tend to dash forward and back, desperate for a shot at romantic redemption and yet afraid to engage again. They can switch between blaming you for expecting too much and for not wanting more, depending on their mood at the moment.
This can introduce a low-level amount of shyness and inhibition into many of their social interactions.
Gays and lesbians make up a small percentage of the population. But if a gay person wants to meet other gay people they usually have to make a more active effort.
There are situations everyone has the potential to find difficult.
However, there are some social struggles that are unique to people who are gay and lesbian...
They may have no problem having more fleeting, casual interactions with people. They risk inadvertently revealing their secret if they share too much of themselves. Also, someone may decide, "There's no point in having deeper conversations with people because it's not like I can let them see my real self anyway.
I'd get nothing out of it." This can apply across all levels of being out.
Beware of this romantic inconsistency and read it as a possible sign that they can't go deep right now, no matter how good the match might be. Does your date bully the waitstaff or speak disrespectfully about their ex?
Does your date seem to be drinking too much or show little interest in you?
In this fantasy, they get to do everything they want and their partner supports them, no matter what.
At its worst, this can develop into a relationship of coercive control.
uthor of Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating