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I’m mostly just a matzo ball soup lover with an affinity for rugelach and my grandmother’s brisket.

Even though I'm a Jewish girl who went to Hebrew school twice a week for countless years, had a Bat Mitzvah in a Conservative synagogue, went to sleepaway camp, experienced Birthright and joined a Jewish sorority in college, I still never . And that's how the bickering began -- and the first time I even really had marriage on the brain. Listening to him read a short story aloud because "it's good for our memories." Never feeling embarrassed about asking where Bulgaria is on the map or eating unhealthy amounts of popcorn.

The whole, "Grow up and marry a nice Jewish boy" has never been my family's motto. After a night of tears and arguing and getting defensive over a religion I had thought I had very little connection to, I did the only thing I could think of. Knowing that he could pinpoint my emotions based on a slight facial expression. People say love fades eventually and religion is the foundation that makes things easier for a family.

So when it came to dating, religious affiliation had never even crossed my mind as a factor to consider.

I had either only been with people who identified similarly, or who identified as nothing at all.

(Though they certainly aren't against it.) In fact, religion viewed as a priority in the way in which one chooses a husband was far from my understanding. But what if in my case, love didn't fade and was instead the force behind a wonderful home?

The way I saw it, love, kindness, patience and, of course, a sense of humor all came before , as my grandparents would have said. What if raising kids without a structured religion allowed them to grow up in a world where the guilt from their family (or the culture they were raised in) never burdened them from being with the one they loved?

Even though I occasionally attended Sunday school (my parents’ half-assed attempt at submerging me in Judaism), I never directly tied my Jewish identity to the religion itself.

Instead, my claiming of Jewishness came from a desire to preserve what my ancestors had fought so hard to maintain, through suffering years of persecution and by surviving the Holocaust.

We took the time to learn the parts of each other that most people wouldn’t normally appreciate.

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